Primates in the Cave   FUNDAMENTALS





It’s in our genes to fornicate.

A pleasure we much advocate.

Males rampant with machismo gait

while most females self-decorate.       004


Small tits implants exaggerate.

Armpits and legs, we depilate.

Ply creams so skin won’t corrugate

and blemishes don’t replicate.                             008


Wield loofahs to exfoliate,

add rich scents to infatuate.

With baubles bright that pendulate

in efforts to become ornate.                                 012


From heads protrude our ears lobate

with pins and studs we can punctate

and dangle earrings: orbs prolate;

the same both sides to counterweight.                 016


And draped across our omoplate,

gold necklaces with charms lunate.

On fingers, stones of silicate

that jewellers facet and serrate.                            020


Wristlets the size of a vamplate

complete our task to titillate.

The sole goal just to illustrate

personas that can captivate.                                 024


We pucker up and osculate

preparing to inseminate.

Fast comes the time to penetrate.

We clinch secure and consummate.                     028


When swimming sperm capacitate

the female seed can germinate.

A nine-month sentence to gestate

in warm dark caves that incubate.                        032


The bulging tummy we palpate

and feel a being palpitate.

The swollen breasts start to lactate.

New life begins to maturate.                                036


With great success we procreate.

Hold lovingly our neonate

and back slap to congratulate

the ease with which we propagate.                       040


Though if we’re gay instead of straight

or just prefer to masturbate,

men can their penis elongate

and harmlessly ejaculate.                                     044


Or women can the hips gyrate

and with a dildo self-vibrate.

Then sperm and eggs stay inchoate

and children won’t proliferate.                             048


Progeny                                                                 back to top


Us kids that do eventuate

wave chubby fingers digitate.

Our little feet folks titivate.

We squirm and squeal and cachinnate.  052


Our parents note each unique trait

and each one they enumerate.

Our comfort they facilitate.

Their lives to us they dedicate.                            056


Our first names we abbreviate.

For Katerina call me Kate,

Ignatius is condensed to Nate

or Iggy should you be a mate.                              060


Our birth records they laminate.

Our nurseries they constellate.

Against most germs they vaccinate.

They’re thorough to inoculate.                             064


We each become a state inmate.

We’re sent to schools that educate,

though some would say indoctrinate,

and with peers we confederate.                            068


Chrome braces for our mouths dentate.

To stop decay we fluoridate.

Pains our mums ameliorate,

abrasions they iodinate.                                        072


Each year we grin for our portrait           

to document our fast growth rate.

Fad diets to control our weight,

replace sugar with cyclamate.                              076


For culture one trip to the Tate.

In sport some bones we dislocate.

Take tests teachers invigilate

and learn how to procrastinate.                            080


In English told to lucubrate,

instructed when to hyphenate,

in math we’re taught to tabulate

and times-tables ingeminate.                                084


Learn languages we mistranslate,

in history events that predate,

in chemistry lixiviate,

in music how to syncopate.                                  088


Boys weird out with skulls cucullate.

For A.D.D. we medicate.

Stray cats we like to lapidate.

Frail weaklings we excruciate.                             092


Meanwhile young girls start to pupate

till we emerge as ripe jailbait.

By twelve it’s time to menstruate.

For forty years we’ll ovulate.                               096


Safe sex pamphlets elucidate

about how we should conjugate.

Our parents we alienate.

We seek to individuate.                                       100


Into adults we’ll graduate

and in most ways just imitate

the homes where we originate,

so, cycles thus perpetuate.                                   104

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Insides Out  


Monosodium glutamate

in most foods that we masticate.

Our drinks the makers caffeinate:

we think this will rejuvenate.                 108


It doesn’t take a diplomate

to know we shouldn’t drink phosphate.

Don’t smoke, detox, decaffeinate;

use diets that desalinate.                                      112


With good food we capacitate.

Eat badly, we dilapidate.

Food oils we hydrogenate.

Kill fungi with Merthiolate.                                 116


When wanting to exhilarate

it’s common to intoxicate

with alcohols that lubricate:

fermented from the vines baccate.                       120


But after all we drank and ate

we ingest much bicarbonate.

As stomach ulcers aggravate

our mouth glands start to salivate.                       124


We loudly belch and flatulate.

Cascades we then regurgitate.

Leave puddles where we urinate

then wait in queues to defecate.                          128


In slurred speech we alliterate.

Our throbbing dull heads acerbate.

For fast relief we aspirate

a few breaths of amyl nitrate.                              132


We pop some pills to stimulate

nerve systems to accelerate.

We like to soar and elevate

to worlds beyond those of our fate.                     136


Or search for something to sedate

and help us to eradicate

the demons we hallucinate

in darkened realms within our pate.                    140


Tents & Temples                                                   back to top


The social structures we create;

clear boundaries delineate.

The rich from poor will insulate

in regions of prime real estate.               144


We’re safe behind a stately gate.

Steel bars the craftsmen lanceolate.

With rich motifs they foliate:

in copper they electroplate.                                 148


Stone columns on a stylobate

accent façades we crenellate.

High towers we can fenestrate

and ramparts we machicolate.                             152


Our in-ground pools we chlorinate.

Twee gardens caretakers curate.

Our worries just evaporate

as guests, in awe, felicitate.                                 156


Our riches help us levitate,

to heights where we luxuriate

in rooms of marble and glazed slate

that chandeliers irradiate.                                    160


The unwelcome can’t infiltrate

these lavish chateaus Latinate

where decorators floriate

and fresh brewed coffees percolate.                    164


These palaces instantiate

the wealth that we accumulate.

A life of lords we simulate.

No way will we die intestate.                              168


Our money we can fecundate:  

to own the best, ours to dictate.

This role we will not abdicate.

Our comforts we’ll not abnegate.                        172


On holidays we aviate

to beaches where we estivate.

Lounge in the sun with our comate.

Relax so we don’t herniate.                                 176


But those who can’t participate

towards middle class will gravitate.

To drab suburbs we’ll relocate:

submissively assimilate.                                      180


We dutifully domesticate

and fence disputes we arbitrate;

to mortgages capitulate

and on consumer goods fixate.                            184


Devotedly we renovate.

Appliances predominate.

In heated spas we macerate

and hope we’ll never liquidate.                           188


In slums, the poorer populate;

exposed to rents that strangulate.

Cold flats where heat don’t radiate

and bleak nights make breath condensate.           192


We ask landlords to fumigate:

the vermin to exterminate.

In pantries roaches nauseate

and filthy rats intimidate.                                     196


From noise the walls reverberate.

The neighbours’ fights reiterate.

The airless hallways suffocate.

Five door locks we must situate.                         200


Still worse, we that itinerate;

our shelters we’ve had to vacate.

Soup kitchens graciously donate

the hot meals we ingurgitate.                               204


Most druggies cannot motivate

enough to rehabilitate.

Drunks find it hard to moderate

a fondness to inebriate.                                        208


And on the streets gangs demarcate,

select turfs and consolidate.

New members we initiate.

Trespassers we assassinate.                                 212


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